Confessions of a career loving mum

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I am a mum to three amazing children all below four years of age. My job involves a lot of travel that takes me away from them a lot of times. I have a confession to make…i love my career … and i do not feel guilty at all.

In writting this post, i am hoping one mum out there is helped to ditch the guilt and embrace their here and now.

1. Use of  the right words.
I have often heard words such as “full time mom” being used. I have always wondered what that means. Honestly despite being a mum who goes to work, i am still also a full time mother to my children. The fact that sometimes i am away for eight hours does not make me a “part time” mum. And  because i embrace my full time motherhood responsibilities and passion for my career, i do not feel guilty.

2. Do not judge yourself
When it comes to motherhood, the tendency is to judge ourselves based on what our children can or cannot do. One mother spoke of how their 10 months old baby is already potty trained. My twins are nearly twice that age and we are not there yet. For a moment i felt i was not doing something right…maybe if i spent more time with them….And then it occurred to me that i am not in competition with anyone and neither are my children. And so again i feel no guilt.

3.Block the naysayers
My first business trip was when my twins where four months old. My mother came and looked after them for the four nights i was away. Thank God for mothers. When i got back one “not so gentle collegue” asked what sort of mother i was to go away and leave such young kids… Honestly if its not to build me or encourage me i block my ears. Its a choice i made and i have no regrets and so the guilt adds no value…so its best to ditch it.

4. Do not be pressured by what others believe you should do
People and society in general will always have opinions of what you “should” do.  You should do X by yourself, when it comes to your children you should do Y and not the nanny. To avoid overwhelming yourself and ending with the useless emotion g…..,because of the pressure, decide for yourself what you can and cannot do. And do not be pressurred.

And finally…
5. I am no superwoman
I am grateful for our culture and the role of extended family where i can always call for support and help with my children when i need it. Elsewhere on my blog i always advise working mothers to ask for help. Its for our own good..

Enjoy your week ahead… with your baby(ies) and at work.

TSB

Guarding against complacency…

Today’s post is inspired by my young sister following a chat we were having yesterday so thanks to her for that. If you are into fashion and all the latest trends,you can also follow her on styletitbits.wordpress.com.

The year has just begun. You probably gave it your all in 2015 and you have a lot to show for it. I celebrate with you today. However i would like to challenge you to challenge yourself further and exceed your previous best in 2016. Do not be complacent.

The book of Esther in chapters 1 and 2 has a very good example on the pitfalls of complacency. It speaks of Queen Vashti whose husband King Ahasuerus reigned over twenty seven provinces from India to Ethiopia. At the end of one of the king’s feasts, he commanded for Queen Vashti to be brought before the king wearing her royal crown in order to show her beauty to the people and the officials for she was beautiful to behold (verse 11)

Verse 12 of chapter 1 says Queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s command and the king was furious. Fast forward to chapter 2 verse 17 and an orphan by the name of Esther was made queen in Vashti’s place. We are not told why Queen Vashti refused to obey the king. Vashti probably believed she was invincible and that nothing would happen to her for disobeying the king’s command.

Its true Vashti was beautiful but Esther was more beautiful. Indeed you are very good at what you do and everyone knows this. But guess what, there is someone out there who is better than you and they could potentially take your place if you become complacent. Do not let past successes get to your heard. Celebrate them and acknowledelge those that have made it possible but desire to do more and better. The biggest mistake that you can make is to believe that “you have arrived”.In your achievements and successes remain humble. Commit to continous learning and outdoing your previous best. Compete against yourself and win in 2016.

I wish you all the best in your career goals and plans for 2016. Share your challenges and successes and lets walk the journey together.

Journey Mercies

TSB

As the new year begins…

So over the last few days i have read several articles regarding new year resolutions. There is a general belief at least based on what i read that people write new year resolutions, goals or objectives that they never see through to completion. Infact two different people mentioned that the energy to follow through fizzles out by second week of January and if you are a bit more determined by February.

So i have made the conclusion that i am one of the old fashioned “outliers” that really believe in writting down my goals for the year. My sincere belief is that it is only through delivering on a day to day basis that the yearly and life plan will be delivered.

I work for a multinational organisation that turns 150 years old in 2016. And i can tell you this organisation will still be around for another 150 years. I have learnt and seen the power of planning and executing well from this organisation. Infact planning for a new year where i work is not done in December. It starts as early as May and is complete by October. This is something i also started doing personally years back. Initially i had a long list that i reviewed monthly and always ticked off on a monthly basis. I  was teary a few days back as i was looking at my journal and saw some of the early posts written in 2004 with entries such as get a driver’s licence, buy a stand….etc. I was able to accomplish those goals in my specified time period and i guess that is what encouraged me to keep doing it. There were also those plans that i did not manage to accomplish. That does not discourage me. I use it at as a learning to see how best to improve things.

I don’t believe that just because one has failed to deliver on their resolutions in the past means that this process should be done away with. A better way is to interrogate why the energy to follow through fizzles out as the days and weeks go by. One way that i found to be effective to ensure i deliver on what i set out to deliver is to have a few select people that i share my plans/ resolutions with and become accountable to. They check on me and my progress every so often and because i do this for me and not anyone else i am equally committed to the process.

So what have you resolved in 2016 for your career, family, business, health, education and …….? Do not be intimadated. Start somewhere and  do not be discouraged.

I wish you every success on your career journey in 2016 and look forward to your feedback.

Journey Mercies

TSB