The Self-Made Illusion

June is already here! It’s my birthday month and I am always excited and grateful for the gift of life.

I watched the movie Self Made back in 2020 when it was released. It’s based on the story of Madam C.J. Walker and how she built her business empire.  Back then, I wrote a post on this blog on lessons  I learnt from this movie. You can read it here. I was reflecting on this movie recently, and I wondered if Madam C.J. Walker was really self-made?  Yes, she worked extremely hard, broke barriers, and beat the odds. But she definitely had a lot of help along the way. From the people who supported her financially, worked in her business, and spread the word about her products, she didn’t do it alone.

And that’s the truth we often overlook in our pursuit of success and what I would  like to talk  about today. I really believe the “self-made” concept is an illusion. Yes, there are certain things that only you will have to do but I really believe when you invite others on your success journey, your odds of making it are much higher, and there are certain mistakes that you will avoid. I will  explain in detail, drawing lessons from the greatest leader of all time, Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

Jesus did not carry out His mission alone. He could have. After all, He was the Son of God. But He chose not to go it alone. Jesus built a team. He collaborated and entrusted others with responsibilities. If the Son of God needed people to fulfill His purpose on earth, what makes you think you can thrive on your own?

Let’s explore seven  groups of people who were instrumental in Jesus’s ministry and what they teach us about the kinds of relationships we need in our careers, businesses, and lives today.


1. John the Baptist:  The Forerunner

Scripture: John 1 vs 26-27. NLT

“John told them, “I baptize with water, but right here in the crowd is someone you do not recognize. Though his ministry follows mine, I’m not even worthy to be his slave and untie the straps of his sandal.” 

John prepared the way for Jesus. He helped shape the spiritual environment that made people receptive to Jesus’s message. John was not threatened by Jesus. He knew that his mission was being a forerunner.  In John 1 vs. 23, John answered those who were asking him who he was by saying, ” I am the voice of one calling in the wilderness.”Make straight the way for the Lord.”

Modern Parallel: The Door Opener
These are mentors, sponsors, or advocates who go ahead of you, introducing you to rooms you wouldn’t have entered alone, clearing paths, and helping you be known and be seen. They are not threatened by you, and neither are they competing with you. In fact, they want you to go further than them.
Who’s paving the way for you? And are you humble enough to follow?

2. The Twelve Disciples:  The Core Team

Scripture: Mark 3:14  NIV

“He appointed twelve that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach.”

Jesus chose twelve men to walk with Him, learn from Him, and carry His message forward.

Modern Parallel: Your Team
These are your collaborators who roll up their sleeves besides you to get the work done. They carry the weight, share the mission, and extend your impact.  In order to get the best out of them, train them, coach them, and help them realise their full potential.

Who are your collaborators? What are you pouring into them to help them work alongside you successfully?

3. Peter, James, and John: The Inner Circle

Scripture: Mark 14:33 NIV

“He took Peter, James, and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled.”

These three were part of the twelve, but they were with Jesus in His most vulnerable moments on the mountaintop and in the garden of Gethsemane. He trusted them with His highest revelations and deepest pain.

Modern Parallel: Your Trusted Confidants
You need people that you can be completely real with. The ones who see you at your best and at your breaking point.  These are people you can call on in your hour of need.
Do you have an inner circle you can call on in your hour of greatest need, and you know they will drop everything to be by your side?

4. Mary, Martha, and Lazarus:  The Safe Place

Scripture: John 11:5 NIV

“Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.”

The depth of Jesus’s love for this family was not just ministry focused. It was emotional,  personal, and relational. Their home in Bethany was a place of rest and friendship for Jesus. A space where He could be human, not just Messiah. Jesus wept at Lazarus’ death, a sign of personal attachment.

Modern Parallel: Your Safe Haven
You need people and places where you can breathe, unplug, and be vulnerable without judgment.
Do you have a sanctuary that reminds you that you are more than your accolades or your job title?

It’s important to distinguish the Inner Circle people from the Safe Place people. Peter, James, and John were invited into moments of spiritual intensity and leadership preparation, mountaintop revelations, healings, and soul-wrenching prayer. They were part of Jesus’s frontlines. By contrast, Lazarus, Mary, and Martha provided a different kind of support, not ministerial, but deeply emotional and restorative. Their home wasn’t a training ground. It was a refuge. A place to simply be. In our own lives, we need both those who walk the battlefield with us and those who help us lay our armor down.


5. Mary Magdalene: The Faithful Follower

Scripture:John 20:18
“Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: ‘I have seen the Lord!“

“…Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out…” – Luke 8:2

Mary Magdalene wasn’t just a casual follower, she was a woman radically transformed by Jesus. Luke tells us that Jesus cast seven demons out of her. We don’t know the exact nature of her torment, but we know that her healing was so life-altering that she devoted the rest of her life to following Jesus.

She traveled with Him, supported His ministry financially (Luke 8:1–3), stood near the cross during the crucifixion when others fled, and was the first to witness the resurrection. Her past didn’t disqualify her it deepened her devotion.

Modern Parallel: The Loyal Supporter
These are the people who believe in your vision and show up even when others don’t. Their loyalty is often forged through their own personal transformation and how your work or leadership has impacted them.

Are you noticing and appreciating the people who have stayed close not because they had to but because they chose to?


6. Simon of Cyrene : The Unexpected Help

Scripture: Mark 15:21 NIV

“A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross.”

Though Simon of Cyrene is only briefly mentioned in the crucifixion story, his role is unforgettable. He helped carry Jesus’s cross when Jesus was too weak to do so alone. The Gospel of Mark tells us Simon was “the father of Alexander and Rufus ” . The mention of his sons’ names is a key detail. It likely indicates that these sons were possibly believers too who were known to the early Christian community. Some scholars even connect Rufus to Paul’s personal greetings in Romans 16:13. This small detail suggests that what began as an interruption for Simon may have turned into a life-altering encounter, one that changed not just his path but that of his whole family.

Modern Parallel: The Emergency Lifeline
Sometimes, help comes from unlikely places. Colleagues who step in during a crisis,  strangers who offer support or acquaintances who open crucial doors. One day, I will share about the strangers who opened doors for us as a family.
Are you open to receiving help when you’re at the end of yourself?


7. Joseph of Arimathea: The Resource Provider

Scripture: Luke 23:52–53

“Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus’s body. Then he took it down, wrapped it in linen cloth, and placed it in a tomb cut in the rock, one in which no one had yet been laid.”

Joseph used his influence and resources to give Jesus a dignified burial.

Modern Parallel: The Quiet Benefactor
They may not walk closely with you every day, but their resources, networks, or generosity help move you forward.
Who are the silent investors in your growth?

The truth is, no one makes it alone. Even Jesus, divine and all-powerful chose community. If He leaned on others, so must we. Let’s trade in the illusion of being “self-made” for the truth of being grace made, people supported, and purpose driven. You are never meant to walk alone. And you don’t have to.

Gratitude: This week, I am grateful for the unexpected helpers who have always shown up for my family. I know they were God sent, especially for the specific moments we needed them. May you receive unexpected help this week and this month.

Gratefully