What If Your Team Is Showing Up, But Not Showing Up To Win?

We were playing soccer recently as a family, our daughter and I versus my husband and our son. The boys scored first. One goal, then another. By the time they hit their third, I called my daughter aside. It was time to regroup and come up with a plan. But she looked up at me with her serious cute face and said, “I’m just here to have fun. I don’t care who wins.”

That is when I realised we were on the same team, but our intentions were not the same. And this mirrors what often happens in leadership and life. You can not win if your team isn’t aligned on why you are playing and what you are playing for. You can work side by side with people and attend the same meetings, but if your definition of success isn’t the same, you’re pulling in different directions.

Here are four key leadership lessons to consider:

1. Is everyone on your team aligned on what the goal is? Whether you are leading a project, running a business, or managing your own life, clarity matters. People can’t chase what they don’t understand. Be clear on what the ultimate goal is. Overcommunicate if you must. Vision only works when it’s shared.

2. Fun and excellence are not opposites.
My daughter wasn’t wrong. Fun is important. But as a leader,  you must help people see that fun and great performance can go hand in hand. You can enjoy the process and aim for the win. It is not about choosing one over the other.

3. Don’t assume, ask.
I assumed we were playing to win. She assumed we were playing for fun. In the workplace, we do the same. We assume people know what is at stake, understand the urgency, or share the same priorities. But alignment doesn’t come from assumptions, it comes from conversations. Clear conversations.

4. Not everyone wants to win at the same level you do. And that’s okay. But it means you need to build the right team around your goals. Whether it’s in business, friendship, or partnerships, make sure the people you have around  you are not just present but truly invested. Shared ambition is a force multiplier.

5. Lead anyway, even if others aren’t trying to win. You might not always have people in your team who are as driven and focused, and that’s okay. Don’t lower your pace or your standard. Keep leading and showing up intentionally. Sometimes, the way you show up will remind others to raise their game. Leadership isn’t about waiting for everyone to be ready but setting the tone and moving forward. Not everyone will care about the scoreboard, but if you do, lead like it.

In the next family match, I will pair up with our son…let’s see how this one goes. Here is a reminder  from the Bible:

“Write the vision,  make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.”
Habakuk 2  vs 2  (NLT)

Gratitude: This week, I am grateful for the gift of life. Last week was my birthday and I had a great time with my family. God is good!

Playlist: This week on my playlist is No Fear In Love from Kaestrimgs and Rica Stephenson

Gratefully